Have you ever heard someone say, “We were conversating all night,” and wondered if that sounded right? You’re not alone. Many English learners and native speakers search for “conversating or conversing” because both words appear in everyday speech, social media, and even songs. However, only one is widely accepted in standard English.
The confusion comes from the fact that conversating is used in casual speech by some speakers, while conversing is the traditional and grammatically accepted form. Dictionaries recognize converse as the verb, making conversing the standard present participle. Meanwhile, conversating has gained popularity in informal conversations, but many style guides still discourage its use in formal writing.
This guide explains the difference between conversating or conversing, where each word came from, how they’re used in American and British English, and which one you should choose depending on your audience.
Conversating or Conversing – Quick Answer
Quick Answer: Conversing is the correct and standard English word. Conversating is considered nonstandard or informal by most dictionaries and style guides.
Correct Examples
- ✅ We were conversing about the project.
- ✅ She enjoys conversing with customers.
- ✅ They spent hours conversing over dinner.
Informal Example
- ⚠️ We were conversating all evening.
Although many people use conversating, especially in spoken English and online conversations, conversing is the safer choice for school, business, academic, and professional writing.
The Origin of Conversating or Conversing
The confusion begins with the verb converse.
The word converse comes from the Latin word conversari, meaning to associate, keep company, or talk with others. It entered English in the late Middle Ages and has long meant to engage in conversation.
The present participle of converse naturally becomes:
- Converse → Conversing
This follows normal English grammar.
So where did conversating come from?
Many linguists believe it developed through everyday speech by analogy with verbs ending in -ate, such as:
- Celebrate → Celebrating
- Educate → Educating
- Communicate → Communicating
Because conversation is a common noun, some speakers mistakenly created the verb conversate, leading to conversating.
Although some dictionaries now record conversate because people use it, it remains nonstandard in formal English.
British English vs American English Spelling
Unlike words such as color/colour or organize/organise, this isn’t really a spelling difference.
Both American English and British English consider conversing the standard form.
Conversating appears mainly in informal speech in some communities, particularly in the United States, but it is not considered standard in either variety.
| English Variety | Preferred Word | Conversating Accepted? |
| American English | Conversing | Informal only |
| British English | Conversing | Rare and nonstandard |
| Canadian English | Conversing | Informal only |
| Australian English | Conversing | Rare |
| New Zealand English | Conversing | Rare |
Examples
American English
- We were conversing after work.
British English
- They were conversing quietly in the garden.
Which Spelling Should You Use?
The best choice depends on your audience.
If you’re writing for an American audience
Use conversing.
Although some Americans casually say conversating, editors and teachers usually prefer conversing.
If you’re writing for the UK
Always choose conversing.
British English strongly favors the traditional form.
If you’re writing for a global audience
Choose conversing.
It is understood everywhere and avoids distracting readers.
Best Practice
| Audience | Recommended Word |
| Students | Conversing |
| Business | Conversing |
| Academic Writing | Conversing |
| Journalism | Conversing |
| Social Media | Conversing (Conversating may appear informally) |
Common Mistakes with Conversating or Conversing
Here are the most common mistakes.
| Incorrect | Correct |
| We were conversating yesterday. | We were conversing yesterday. |
| She likes to conversate. | She likes to converse. |
| They are conversating online. | They are conversing online. |
| He conversated with me. | He conversed with me. |
| We had a conversate. | We had a conversation. |
Remember
- Conversation = noun
- Converse = verb
- Conversing = correct verb form
- Conversating = informal, generally avoided
Conversating or Conversing in Everyday Examples
Here is how the correct word appears in different situations.
Thank you for conversing with our support team today.
Business
The manager was conversing with clients before the meeting.
News
Witnesses were conversing outside the courthouse before the announcement.
Social Media
We spent hours conversing about our favorite movies.
Informal social media may also include:
We were conversating all night 😂
Although common online, the standard version remains conversing.
Academic Writing
Participants were observed conversing during the discussion session.
Conversating or Conversing – Google Trends & Usage Data
Search data and language usage show that conversing is far more common than conversating.
General Trends
- Conversing appears regularly in books, newspapers, academic writing, and professional communication.
- Conversating is mostly found on social media, music lyrics, spoken conversations, and informal online content.
- Searches for “conversating or conversing” increase because people want to know which form is grammatically correct.
Popularity by Region
| Country | Preferred Form |
| United States | Conversing |
| United Kingdom | Conversing |
| Canada | Conversing |
| Australia | Conversing |
| South Africa | Conversing |
Even in countries where conversating is occasionally heard, conversing remains the accepted standard in writing.
Comparison Table
| Feature | Conversing | Conversating |
| Standard English | ✅ Yes | ❌ No |
| Dictionary Preferred | ✅ Yes | Limited recognition |
| Formal Writing | ✅ Yes | ❌ No |
| Academic Writing | ✅ Yes | ❌ Avoid |
| Business Writing | ✅ Yes | ❌ Avoid |
| Casual Speech | ✅ Yes | Sometimes |
| Social Media | ✅ Yes | Common in some posts |
| Grammar Recommendation | Recommended | Generally discouraged |
Frequently Asked Questions
Is conversating a real word?
Some dictionaries record it because people use it, but it is generally considered nonstandard. Conversing is the preferred form.
Which is grammatically correct: conversating or conversing?
Conversing is grammatically correct in standard English.
Why do people say conversating?
Many people formed it from the noun conversation or by analogy with verbs ending in -ate. It became popular in casual speech.
Is conversating acceptable in professional writing?
No. Use conversing or converse in professional, academic, and business writing.
Is conversating common in America?
It appears in some spoken dialects and informal contexts, but conversing remains the standard form.
Can I use conversating on social media?
Yes, if you’re writing casually. However, conversing is still the more widely accepted choice.
Is converse the same as conversation?
No.
- Converse is a verb.
- Conversation is a noun.
Example:
- We conversed for an hour.
- We had a great conversation.
Conclusion
The debate over conversating or conversing is really about standard English versus informal usage. While conversating has become familiar in casual speech and online conversations, conversing remains the correct and widely accepted form in dictionaries, schools, workplaces, and professional writing.
If your goal is to communicate clearly and make a good impression, choose conversing. It is grammatically correct, recognized worldwide, and appropriate in nearly every situation—from emails and business reports to academic papers and everyday conversations. Although you may hear conversating in informal settings, using it in formal contexts may cause readers or listeners to question your language accuracy.
When in doubt, remember the simple rule: the verb is “converse,” so the correct present participle is “conversing.” By choosing the standard form, you’ll write with confidence, avoid common grammar mistakes, and ensure your message is understood by audiences in the United States, the United Kingdom, and around the world.
